Teaching

I am in class teaching today. There is not much for me to do because today is just a work day. The students will come and talk to me if they need help or if they would like to take a break from this class, but other than that I am left alone. The soft music I am playing is almost putting me to sleep. I wonder what it is doing to them. They have been really quiet today. Hmm... Maybe I should put on something more upbeat. But what?? I am not in the mood for any of that. You hear that all day in the car and at home. They need a break from the typical radio music. Heck, I need a break from it. Sitting here at the desk, watching the class work, makes me wonder what they are thinking about. Granted, some are talking rather loudly and making it known what is on their mind. No, I mean the quiet ones; the ones who are sitting alone and keeping their mouths closed. They seem so peaceful while they work. Then again, working in clay does that to a person. I mean really working in it. Feeling where the bumps are, using your delicate finger to smooth the outside, and eyeballing it to make sure it looks right. When really working in clay, it puts you into a sort of trance; allows your thoughts to flow freely. Art is one of the most peaceful things you can do. I think that must be why I enjoy teaching it so much. I like to see the students that what I have told them and create something out of it. I love to see where that trance leads them and what they make while under the spell of the clay. Now I have changed the music, and it is interesting to see how the mood of the room has completely shifted. Aretha Franklin can do that to you. I hope that someday I will be able to be as good of a teacher as Sari is. I see the way these students look up to her and I envy her. I want a class of my own! I am tired of waiting. I have so many ideas that I want to try and can't really try here because it's not MY class. Oh my look how the time has flown by! I better go check on my students. :)

End of Term

This week is the end of the term. That means that school is 1/4 of the way done!! Which means I am that much closer to being a senior. Even though I love that we have the year split up into sections, it is just so stressful! Making sure you have the grade you want and getting all your stuff in on time. Students were supposed to do all that long before this week, but we are all guilty of procrastinating. I am not as concerned as is see my peers are. What is killing me is all the end of the term tests. Maybe I had done great on all my homework and tests up to that point, but along comes that dreaded beast daring to squash your grade flat! I am a horrible test taker for one; I break under pressure. So I feel that these tests are just created by the devil to kick me off my high horse. Not all tests are the same because some are easier than others. However the ones like math, art history, and U.S. history really kill me! I took my math test and got a C, (Much better than my first test) and that kept me at a B+ which I am totally happy with. I also have taken my art history test and I am sure I bombed that one. Luckily I did an extra credit assignment that was worth 50 extra credit points. So I am pretty covered there. Now all thats left is my U.S. history one. I am confident that I will do alright because the teacher is very nice, I just don't feel like I know all the material. So that is where I stand with the end of the term. But hey, only 3 more terms to go!!!!

Michael S. Greenwood

I am going to tell you the story about how I met the most amazing boy ever. It started in seventh grade. I was young and was in love with being in junior high. I had a lot of friends and was very wrapped up in my self. There was this one boy, Michael Greenwood. At first, I did not think much of him. He was funny yes, but I was too involved with my self to pay much attention to him sadly. The year went just as fast as it came and before I knew it, I was in eighth grade. I don't remember seeing much of Michael that year. I was in a relationship that consumed most of my time and thoughts. Again the year seemed to phase out with a lot of heartache attached to it. The summer after eighth was one of the best summers I have ever had. I had just had a messy break up and became really close to my best friend. We partied all summer. So I was so excited for ninth grade. It was our last year in junior high, I had a great best friend, and I was ready for a good time. Too bad I don't seem to learn from my mistakes.
There was a new boy that year, his name was Nick. He was every kind of wrong you can think of, and I knew it too. For some reason I didn't listen to my better judgment and said yes to "being his girlfriend". The same night he asked me, I went to the winter ninth grade night dance. (Nick didn't do the dance thing) Now, up until this point Michael had just sort of been a friend. He was in my English class, and we flirted a little here and there. But it was nothing big. I was not ready for what happened that night. At the dance I was out in the foyer calling Nick and in walked the best looking boy I had ever seen. He was wearing a tight fitting shirt with a pink tie.
My heart pounded in my chest as I tried to figure out who it was. As he walked closer I gasped as I realized it was Michael. Never had I felt this way towards him or any other boy for that matter. I slammed the phone shut and jumped up to talk to him. We flirted for a second and I made him promise to dance one dance with me. I then left him to go be with my friends but he never left my mind. While I was dancing with others, I found my self constantly looking for him. Hoping he would grab my hand and pull my aside. He didn't have to sweep me off my feet cause he had already done that. The D.J. announced that there were only about two or three songs left. I was devastated! "Maybe I came off too strong, maybe I don't look very good tonight, maybe he just had too go home" These were all the thoughts going through my head. I was trying to explain all this to Miranda, my best friend, when she flipped me around. Standing there in all his glory was that beautiful boy. I felt like my heart had left my chest. I felt sick and bursting with joy at the same time.
He asked me to dance with him, took my hand and lead me to the dance floor. In the back of my head I felt a little ashamed... I mean I was Nick's "girlfriend". But I could tell that Michael was so much better in more ways then one. If he would have asked me I would have called Nick right then and just stayed in Michael's arm. Unfortunately, he did not, and the songs as well as the dance ended.
At Miranda s house after, all my friends were telling me how good Michael and I looked together. They were pretty much begging me to leave Nick. I went home considering it, until I found out the next day that Michael was already taken. I was so sad, but I assumed it was for the better. For the next few months a string of events took place. Michael and I continued to grow close by becoming best friends. Nick fought with me so many times and I put up with it to keep myself occupied while waiting for michael. Michael and I would kiss secretly behind the school without anyone knowing. I fell in love with Michael. I was torn between letting him stay happily with his girlfriend and tearing him away to be with me.
This continued for several weeks until the World Fair. He came in the door and my heart did that thing it always does when I see him. By this time I had cut my loses and left Nick once and for all. He walked up to me and told me that he ended it with her! I was ecstatic!! I almost could not control my self I was so happy. But, to my surprise, he did not ask me to be his right away. It did come however, at the next night dance, the spring one, during the song Fall For You. He leaned in close and asked me to be with him. I looked right into his eyes and said yes. We have been inseparable ever since, and that was a year and five months ago! Yes, it has been hard just like any relationship. But he is the one, I just know it.

Internship Journal #3

I had a really fun two weeks! I got to learn all about doing washes and painting. When I started this, I was really only in the painting class to see a different teaching method. However, now that I have actually learned something and have experienced painting, I am finding that I really enjoy it. I had never had the chance to learn painting, or even do anything with it. I also got to learn how to unload the kiln. I was very excited about that because that directly relates to what I want to be. I seem to be getting a little closer to Sari, I think I just needed to take action and just do it. Some times I do find it a little frustrating when they ask me to explain something to the class, and then they go up and say the same exact thing I just did. Maybe I am not doing a good enough job explaining, it just makes me so frustrated. However I just found out that I get to go on a field trip with my painting students to the U’s art museum! I am very excited. Obviously I have gone on field trips as a student but never as a teacher. It is going to be a great learning experience and I am looking forward to it.

I talked to both Ruth and Sari about their confidentiality issues. Ruth told me that the hardest thing for her is her special treatment students. She says that some of them you would not know had anything wrong and it’s hard not to show special treatment. Also, grades are a big one for both. You can not post any grades that have names attached them. They always have to be with student numbers or some other code. You can’t discuss other kids’ grades with a student. It is not as big of a problem, especially in an art class, compared to like a math class.

Candles

I bought a candle today. It is called Mulled Cider, and I absolutely love it! In reality, I love all candles. They make walking into a room so much more fun. Sometimes, weird people get really nasty smelling ones, but it still makes the room more interesting. I like getting a candle to match the season. I really want to get a pumpkin smelling one for Halloween and Thanksgiving, and then have the cider one for Christmas and into January. Candles always make your room, or house, feel more alive. Not so much like a house, but more like a place that is bursting with life and has a story to tell. Usually, when you smell a candle it will bring an emotion on, or perhaps a memory. For example when I smell my cider candle, it makes me feel all warm and cozy inside. It makes me want to sit in front of a fire and watch the snow fall. However, if I smell a sugar cookie one, it reminds me of my mom and always thinking she was cooking some. Only to be disappointed and more hungry when I found out it was only a candle.

Babysitting

Here I am, on a Wednesday night, sitting for my dad. I am not complaining because it's not much work. The only child is my baby sister who goes to sleep at 8, and my dad is not leaving until 8:45. So its not really a problem. It is just so boring!! There is never anything to do, so I usually just eat. However, there are not many snacks here at my dad's home. I guess I could watch T.V., but I am sick of all the crap that is on. I suppose I could do homework, but lets be honest, is that really going to happen?? All I have is art history, and maybe a little math. That is the extent of my evening. Oh man, I am living the good life.

Glass by Ellen Hopkins

Glass is the book that follows Crank. It continues with Kristina/Bree's story of her struggle with the monster. Reading this book has been a very eye opening experience for me. It has made me so afraid of drugs, and in some ways sex. In this book she believes she is in love with this boy. But to me it seems like they are just using each other to get off. Then when the other is gone, they just get it from someone else. I never want that to happen to me. I want every part of my life to be filled with love and true wanting. Whether it is sex or simply just watching late night t.v. I really felt sorry for the girl in this book. I wanted to reach inside the story and shake her. I wanted to beg her to step out of herself for two seconds and look at the mess she has made. However I know that even if I did do that, she would never be able to see what I can see. This book has really wrapped me in its crushing arms and has really made me think. Not only think about what I can do to help people like her, but also think about choices I have made that brought me close to the same fate. It is interesting to see how a happy life can be shattered in one kiss, one hug, or even one word. Ellen Hopkins did a great job at showing this to her readers.